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The false definition of respect is to accept anything they dish out and be happy about it.
Respect in the dysfunctional family world is acceptance of any type of treatment, without question.
Respect in abusive relationships means NEVER asking to be respected in return. The confusion happens because of the mixed messages children get in a dysfunctional family system; it is very confusing when we experience that we don’t get that same ‘privilege’ as they get; we are taught how to prove our love for them, but we are not loved in the definition of love that they have taught us proves our love for them.
The truth is that my mother comes from a dysfunctional family herself and she comes from an abusive family as well so she herself went through this same grooming process.
She learned to discount me from the same grooming process that she learned her own value from.
I don’t mention that to excuse her, but to show the cycle of abuse.
The only way to stop the cycle is to expose it and to stand up to it. I will always be referred to as the crazy one in the family and I suppose that if I didn’t have this website, if I didn’t get hundreds of thank you notes every month, if my writing wasn’t shared by hundreds of thousands of people and studied by universities all over the world, I might still question that old belief that I was the crazy one…
I stood up to it and And some would say there is a price I have paid. but I don’t believe that lie anymore because I understand that it was part of the grooming process all along.